The Art of the Hand Job

Metula, Northern Israel , Lebanon Border
July 30 2006

What is a hand job, without a happy ending ... think about it in every perverse way.

Then when you have contemplated the simple question why would you have a hand job without a happy ending, consider the Israeli censorship laws.

At the end of the day the biggest compliment I received was that I have mastered the hand job. This I thought I had achieved aged 14 but not when you hear that your boss thinks you have mastered this simple act of being male, well a male combat cameraman.

We got slammed today by Hezbollah, after the IDF attack on Qana, Southern Lebanon. In which over 50 civilians most of them children were killed last night. Hezbollah promised a day of "Rain" and the biggest number of rockets fired into Israel since this war started was surpassed. And being on a roof top seeing two of them hit, trust me the Hezbollah achieved their aim. I was for the first time, scared really scared in this conflict.

The thing is that , we have to be live on the roof to report this and wearing a flak jacket is something that long ago lost it's fashion statement for me. Everyone we saw today was at some stage wearing a flak jacket in Metula. It was a day when you could not be normal if there was not some doubt in your mind. We even told our Producer top stay of the rooftop without a jacket on. I would not be true without admitting that I wore mine a few times for very good reason.

The day unfolded with rockets landing, real close to something that under censorship laws must wait for a later date. When we broadcast we cannot disclose the actual location of the hit in a wide shot so that Hezbollah could adjust and relaunch more missiles. Why any Hezbollah informant would be watching Fox News at one in the morning calling in artillery tangents is beyond me. But you never know.

So we have developed a technique whereby the correspondent David Lee Miller explains live on air that we are about to put our "hand" over lens and block the picture to swing around and show you close up where it landed. Now fellow cameramen we know this is plunging into a black hole and coming out on target, is like shooting a bulls eye playing darts blindfolded.

I have worked this technique whereby I cover the lens with my hand swing around, zoom in and focus in on the strike site by just spreading a couple of fingers so I know what I am looking at but no one else. I hit every site spot on every live shot. Look for the subtle fingers move.

Eli Fastman, our Bureau Chief is our Battle General for the entire operation and at dinner I heard the feedback, that Mal has mastered the hand job.

The hand job, has been mastered, but with no happy ending...... But the Boss is happy.

Tomorrow I am on Katusah Camera in Qiryat Shemona day shift, put that in a roster thru HR let alone the legal department. We have rostered a cameraman to be on the roof when a rocket hits the town.

Can hardly wait.

Hang on what about the "Happy Ending" .....