Monday Night - en route to Abu Dhabi
Apart from the fact that I or should I say my lords and masters in New York have to pay vast sums of excess baggage, the final count on my kit for this trip was 140kg and eight cases, plus my bag, plus the camera, plus my hand baggage. Had paid over $900 excess baggage things have gone fairly well tonight.
The drive though out to the airport was however totally the opposite, imagine you are waiting outside your hotel and this pimped up mini van turns up, straight out of MTV Saudi Arabia’s Pimp My Van. Where the décor includes prayer beads and confederate scarf’s safety pinned to the roof. And the driver insists on proving his manhood by honking the horn every ten seconds for no reason than his hands cannot touch his private parts because I am sitting in the front seat rather than his friend.
It reached its climax, pardon the non-intentional pun here. When approaching a vehicle at 140 kmh the driver hit the horn to ward of the car that had just turned on in a legal manner onto the highway. “Enough” was all I said in fair but enforceable tone. I have no intention of dying in a mini van going to Amman Airport.
Needless to say both the driver and his ‘friend’ looked disappointed when there was no indication of a tip when we arrived at the airport.
Traveling in the Middle East involves many things from swapping and changing around the four passports I carry, each passport has various stamps that may cause trouble on arrival or departure, and sometimes I have given the wrong passport and then spent twenty minute explaining the other passports.
The there is always the “ethic cleansing of the travel cases” as I like to term it. Which is the term I apply when I have to go over each case and make sure that there is no sticker from Israel on the case when I am going to an Arabic country in case the customs or security upon seeing an Israeli sticker decide to impound my case and classify it as a Zionist enemy. One little sticker with Hebrew writing or letters is enough to send Mohammed into a fit. Just another joy of trying to solve the Middle East Peace process.
Perhaps one day all cases will be free to travel anywhere and airport carousels will live in peace.
Off to the Abu Dhabi Mall this morning, a lay day waiting for a flight back to Amman, more later
Mal
Abu Dhabi
UAE
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Seven Cases
Whilst the date of the crusade ending is to be determined by lords and masters in far off places, there is always time for another chance to jump on a flying machine and depart for the wilds of sand in far flung countries.
Now for those who do not know travelling in this business mainly involves packing and unpacking boxes, loading and unloading them and counting the missing ones on airport carousels or before some little nigel nicks them off the back of a truck.
For this trip more details to follow, from on the road in the following days.
Anyway back to cases, I like to think that I pack light when I travel for work and getting everything into seven cases was a pretty good deal, luckily we are not taking transmission eqpt as this automatically puts me at close to twenty boxes and 300 kg, so seven cases and under 100kg of excess baggage
Tales from the desert to follow next week
Now for those who do not know travelling in this business mainly involves packing and unpacking boxes, loading and unloading them and counting the missing ones on airport carousels or before some little nigel nicks them off the back of a truck.
For this trip more details to follow, from on the road in the following days.
Anyway back to cases, I like to think that I pack light when I travel for work and getting everything into seven cases was a pretty good deal, luckily we are not taking transmission eqpt as this automatically puts me at close to twenty boxes and 300 kg, so seven cases and under 100kg of excess baggage
Tales from the desert to follow next week
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
The Crusade Ends
Thus after five years in the Unholyland my crusade to bring peace, stabilty, religious tolerance and better driving skills is about to come to an end. At the end of the month I am moving to join the London Bureau.
The time will reflection will come later, probably on the plane as I take off and look at the land of humous and pita disaapearing under the wing and then I can reflect on what has happened and how my efforts as an unofficial Middle East Envoy have changed the course of history, NOT.
The question now raises as to how to change the name of The Unholyland News to reflect The land of Curry and Kebab, a new chapter is about to begin in my career and the challenges of life that this brings is exciting.
The blog continues and I get to drive back on the left side of the road.
The time will reflection will come later, probably on the plane as I take off and look at the land of humous and pita disaapearing under the wing and then I can reflect on what has happened and how my efforts as an unofficial Middle East Envoy have changed the course of history, NOT.
The question now raises as to how to change the name of The Unholyland News to reflect The land of Curry and Kebab, a new chapter is about to begin in my career and the challenges of life that this brings is exciting.
The blog continues and I get to drive back on the left side of the road.
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Tomorrow
Hong Kong Airport
OK There has been a reason for the absence of posts and over the next twenty four hours all will be revealed. I apologise for the lack of posts of recent but there are times to write and times to allow the world revolve. Last few weeks in Australia on holidays have been great and the highlight was last Thursday night when Louise was confirmed , which was a very big moment in her life and made one father a very proud man to have two such wonderful daughters.
So tomorrow all will be revealed, will not say anymore than ... wait for it LOL
Mal
In one of his favourite places in the world , the lounge at Chep lap Kok airport Hong kong, pity it will be spoiled by a 12 hour flight on Elal , trust me a dentist can be better than a long haul Elal flight
OK There has been a reason for the absence of posts and over the next twenty four hours all will be revealed. I apologise for the lack of posts of recent but there are times to write and times to allow the world revolve. Last few weeks in Australia on holidays have been great and the highlight was last Thursday night when Louise was confirmed , which was a very big moment in her life and made one father a very proud man to have two such wonderful daughters.
So tomorrow all will be revealed, will not say anymore than ... wait for it LOL
Mal
In one of his favourite places in the world , the lounge at Chep lap Kok airport Hong kong, pity it will be spoiled by a 12 hour flight on Elal , trust me a dentist can be better than a long haul Elal flight
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Breaking NEWS
Breaking News, don't you just love it when the sting music comes on tv and suddenly a graphic whizz's across the screen and a breathless anchor tells you in sombre tones , this just in .....
Well many things are happening and the next few weeks will reveal all for the future of the Unholyland News, the issue of a book is now getting more serious and I hope to start seriously in the next few months working towards a draft on what I am using the working title of " ? [Secret at this stage] " , have always wanted to call it "Great Hotel Roofs and Car Parks of the World" but that is the title that someone else came up with from the old days of the London Bureau.
Anyway more News to come very shortly , and this is one story when you will not hit the mute button.
Mal
Sydney
Australia
[and nothing to do with Australia]
Well many things are happening and the next few weeks will reveal all for the future of the Unholyland News, the issue of a book is now getting more serious and I hope to start seriously in the next few months working towards a draft on what I am using the working title of " ? [Secret at this stage] " , have always wanted to call it "Great Hotel Roofs and Car Parks of the World" but that is the title that someone else came up with from the old days of the London Bureau.
Anyway more News to come very shortly , and this is one story when you will not hit the mute button.
Mal
Sydney
Australia
[and nothing to do with Australia]
Friday, August 10, 2007
The Watermelon Man
The Watermelon Man
One of my favorite training runs has always been out along the Marina area and up to the Number 2 Hwy, you run past the beach and some of the most hi tech research companies in the world (think Silicon Valley type Research Companies) are located here, and of course some farm fields.
True to its foundations Israel maximizes it’s land usage and if is not being built on or having rubbish illegally dumped on it then it will be used for farming purposes, and over the years this field has been ploughed and fertilized with various crops over the seasons.
Now you would think that with all the wealth that surrounds these fields that theft would be of a cyber crime nature. Thus I was surprised when a couple of months back I started to notice that there was this car parked on the edge of this field it was always there twenty four hours a day, then a shelter with a platform was erected and as I ran past I could make out an old mattress on the platform and a camping stove for making coffee.
It now dawned on me that a watchman was living over looking these fields, guarding watermelons against theft. With all the social and political problems in the world, theft of watermelons is a problem. It is the most popular fruit in the country and everyone there is an expert on all matters watermelon. Now stealing watermelons is not a simple task, I mean how times have you heard of people shoplifting a watermelon.
So watermelon theft in Israel is a “Clear and Present Danger” run by the lords of the Underworld, farmers over the years must have had fields stripped over night and thus now the Watermelon Man stands guard.
He must have done his job well as the crop survived and was duly harvested. Last Saturday I was out running with Chaim and as we past the now empty watermelon field I told him the story [as above] and jokingly wondered what had happened to “The Watermelon Man”.
Ten minutes down the road on our run, lo and behold on the edge of another field there is the shelter and in the dawn light “The Watermelon Man” was patrolling the field, either that or coming back from relieving himself.
Now the absolutely funny thing about this story is that across the road from the field is a group of buildings that are probably one of the most high tech security aware buildings in the world the global HQ for the famed Israel Mossad Secret Service, these guys can trace a person breaking wind in Kazakhstan, have access to satellites that can zoom into postage stamps on postcards in China.
Chaim and I laughed at the irony of this situation, Mossad for all its power and Global resources could not monitor the watermelon fields across the road, forget hi tech spying Mossad it seems cannot protect a watermelon field it can see from its windows. It just struck me as ironic that with the resources of the world not a 100 m away, you still need “The Watermelon Man” for security.
One of my favorite training runs has always been out along the Marina area and up to the Number 2 Hwy, you run past the beach and some of the most hi tech research companies in the world (think Silicon Valley type Research Companies) are located here, and of course some farm fields.
True to its foundations Israel maximizes it’s land usage and if is not being built on or having rubbish illegally dumped on it then it will be used for farming purposes, and over the years this field has been ploughed and fertilized with various crops over the seasons.
Now you would think that with all the wealth that surrounds these fields that theft would be of a cyber crime nature. Thus I was surprised when a couple of months back I started to notice that there was this car parked on the edge of this field it was always there twenty four hours a day, then a shelter with a platform was erected and as I ran past I could make out an old mattress on the platform and a camping stove for making coffee.
It now dawned on me that a watchman was living over looking these fields, guarding watermelons against theft. With all the social and political problems in the world, theft of watermelons is a problem. It is the most popular fruit in the country and everyone there is an expert on all matters watermelon. Now stealing watermelons is not a simple task, I mean how times have you heard of people shoplifting a watermelon.
So watermelon theft in Israel is a “Clear and Present Danger” run by the lords of the Underworld, farmers over the years must have had fields stripped over night and thus now the Watermelon Man stands guard.
He must have done his job well as the crop survived and was duly harvested. Last Saturday I was out running with Chaim and as we past the now empty watermelon field I told him the story [as above] and jokingly wondered what had happened to “The Watermelon Man”.
Ten minutes down the road on our run, lo and behold on the edge of another field there is the shelter and in the dawn light “The Watermelon Man” was patrolling the field, either that or coming back from relieving himself.
Now the absolutely funny thing about this story is that across the road from the field is a group of buildings that are probably one of the most high tech security aware buildings in the world the global HQ for the famed Israel Mossad Secret Service, these guys can trace a person breaking wind in Kazakhstan, have access to satellites that can zoom into postage stamps on postcards in China.
Chaim and I laughed at the irony of this situation, Mossad for all its power and Global resources could not monitor the watermelon fields across the road, forget hi tech spying Mossad it seems cannot protect a watermelon field it can see from its windows. It just struck me as ironic that with the resources of the world not a 100 m away, you still need “The Watermelon Man” for security.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Going to Oz
Sorry for lack of posts, many things happening and it is 4am at the airport , en route to Australia , yes widescreen will be down in Melbourne for a day or so and will try to contact you.
Next post is a great story titled "The Watermelon Man" it will make you laugh
Mal
Ben Gurion Airport and 19 hours flying to go
Next post is a great story titled "The Watermelon Man" it will make you laugh
Mal
Ben Gurion Airport and 19 hours flying to go
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